


blood mixes and truths unfold

by charjace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A self indulgent AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diverges after 2x20, M/M, Seelie!Jace, Two Parter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: a demon and an angel make a seelie, so what do you get when someone with so much angel blood gets a demon trapped inside them?





	1. i don't mind your shadows

Now, generally when Simon gets home it's very early in the morning, always telling everyone that he's out living his life at night now that sleep wasn't something he needed to survive.  _But now you can walk in the sun_  Clary had justified, with a tilt of her head when told her this one day she was waiting outside for him so they could go on a mission – if he didn't have a class. Of course, he had a reply easily at the ready,  _But I never get to see the city at night. I want to explore that_. And Clary accepts it with a small nod of her head, and tells him to be careful and that she's always a phone call away.

He couldn't tell her the truth, that he made a deal with the Seelie Queen to make sure that Maia would be let go. That he has to go to her every night and do the things that she wishes. That is what he truly is doing every night that he's not laying in his apartment bedroom. Maia caught onto his lying two days and told him flat out that if he can't tell her what he was up to, that she couldn't be in a relationship with him. Secrets in a relationship was one thing she just couldn't do, not when the last one ended with her almost at doors death if it weren't for the fact that she was now, because of it, a werewolf. Simon understood that, so, with a heavy heart broke it off with her. It was a part of the condition of Maia and Luke leaving the Seelie Realm, that he couldn't tell them of the deal.

The apartment he lives in is Bat's, Bat was going to have a flatmate, but they cancelled on him so the new werewolf offered the spare space to the vampire who slept in a dingy old boat house. Early in the mornings, Bat is generally still asleep, or off to where he is meant to be for the day (it depends on what time Simon comes in. To Simon early morning is anywhere between 4am til 9am).

Walking into the apartment, he notices someone sleeping on the couch. A blanket slung over the Shadowhunter. Runes just poking out of the blanket that covered his body, blond hair a ruffled mess and jacket laying on the floor next to a pair of combat boots. It was Jace, but why in the hell is Jace here.

Bat must have heard him come in because the werewolf is walking out of his room with a bag slung over his shoulders. The wolf raises an eyebrow slightly, "Dude, he's usually gone by now."

"What?" Simon questions, tilting his head a little. Eyes looking over the sleeping Shadowhunter, it seems that for once in his life, Jace actually  _looks_  peaceful and content with what he has. Simon slinks off his jacket, hanging it over the back of the chair.

"Blondie over there crashes here every night, has for the past two weeks," Bat says as he follows Simon into the kitchen.

Simon grabs a bag of blood and pours it into a cup, he  **hates**  drinking out of the bags, makes him feel more like the monster he feels he is, so to keep his mind in a safe place he pours the liquid into a cup. Helps him to anchor himself to that  _once_  mundane part of himself. "And how have I not noticed this?"

"Don't know if you know this, but you aren't exactly home at night. So much I told him he could just use your bed," Bat replies with a small shrug of his shoulders. "Plus, he's always gone by now. I'd wake up to him coming into the apartment, then he's out like a light ten minutes later on the couch."

"Oh... why does he come here?" Simon questions, and Bat just shrugs, telling him to ask the Shadowhunter that, and he goes off for his days' work. Simon let out a small sigh before walking into the living room, cup in his hands as he takes a seat on the chair. Eyes watching over Jace.

Some part of Simon's mind was telling him that this was cute, that he wouldn't mind seeing this side of Jace more. To see Jace more relaxed and not the hard-ass he likes to be. It's a facade, and Simon knows it, because he has a facade of his own. (It's his humour, he hides behind it because it's much easier then facing the truth.) He finishes his blood, licking his lips as he puts the cup upon the small coffee table.

Jace stirs in his sleep, and Simon can see that what was playing inside Jace's head wasn't going so great. Despite knowing Jace will most likely kick his ass when he wakes up, Simon moves over to sit on the edge of the couch, resting a hand gently upon Jace's shoulder. It's like an automatic reaction, Jace's hand goes to grip Simon's arm tight. It's a fucking tight grip, even for him with his now vampire strength it hurt. Simon doesn't let out a whimper, but he is sure to not move, just in case it may end up with one of them (himself) injured in the process.

Jace doesn't seem to be waking up, so Simon just resorts to the one thing he knew; lullabies. He starts to sing one in a soft voice, and he notices the way Jace's body starts to relax as Simon sings, so, he continues. Song after song, lullabies to popular songs until there is a knock upon the door.

Cursing under his breath, Simon is scared that the unconscious side of Jace will automatically react like it did before, but calling out may cause Jace to wake, and Simon isn't sure which one is worse. Jace needed the sleep, whether he would admit it or not. It was like Jace hadn't been getting enough sleep lately, from when Simon did see him.

Sucking in a deep breath, Simon decides on calling out, "Who is it?"

"Alec, are you going to open up the door?" Alec asks, his voice sounding a little irritated as he let the words spill past his lips.

Rolling his eyes, Simon says back, "I'm not sure if I can, but you can come in."

Simon hears the door open and two sets of footsteps walking. In a matter of seconds Magnus and Alec came into view, Alec with a light scowl upon his lips which only lightened just a  _little_  when he saw his parabatai sleeping on the couch. Simon watches as Alec's eyes roam over Simon's arm, over Jace's hand gripping Simon's.

"I think you can move, he looks relaxed enough," Magnus says, offering a small smile to Simon. "I just don't understand why he's here. The potion was meant to knock him out where he feels the safest."

Simon slowly removes his arm away from Jace, and Jace's arm drops down to his side before he's curling up, effectively pushing Simon off the couch. This just causes Simon to roll his eyes, then he realises what Magnus said,  _potion, where_ _Jace_ _feels the safest?_  "What potion?" He asks before he's able to stop it from tumbling out.

"Jace needed to sleep, he was having nightmares. He won't admit it, but he was. Or something was stopping him from it getting sleep, he was going to wear himself out so I asked Magnus for help," Alec replies, like that answers Simon's question.

"Did you really just  _Sleeping Beauty_  Jace?" Simon muses with a raised eyebrow. He watches as Magnus rolls his eyes.

"No, Jace will wake up after eight hours of falling asleep, no true love kiss needed," Magnus replies. "I couldn't do anything about nightmares, just put him to sleep. I thought when he would go to the Institute that he'd be there, but when Alexander called wondering where Jace was... we tracked him to here."

"I don't understand why this is where he feels the safest, not his home," Alec questions, and Simon thinks that maybe Shadowhunters don't get that safe doesn't mean where the weapons are, or where  _family_  is all the time.

"You don't? I do. Look, sure he grew up in the Institute for most of his life, right? You'd think that'd be his safe place, rightfully so. Not saying you're wrong Alec, you have every right to have thought he'd be in his room at the Institute, but did you not think of all the things that happened there... to him?" Simon rambles off. He never really thought that he'd see the day that he'd be defending  _Jace_  of all people. "He almost dies, that I'm sorry about. He tries to  _kill himself_  but ends up killing hundreds of innocent downworlders, faces his  _abuser_  to save me. Got bullied and ridiculed by those who he worked with all of those, while  _within_  the Institute walls, I can understand why that for him isn't where he feels safest. I also understand that he might not know this. He might not be aware of this fact, that this apartment is where he feels safest."

"But  _why_  here?" Alec questions, it still didn't make sense to the older male.

Simon gives a small shrug of his shoulders, "I don't know. According to Bat, he's been sleeping on the couch for two weeks. Gone by the time Bat wakes up, except today."

"According to Bat? What about you, haven't you noticed him?" Alec asks, raising an eyebrow at Simon.

"I've been out at night, not here. So, no," Simon replies, and he's waiting for it and Magnus delivers with the question of  _'where have you been at night for two weeks that you don't notice_ _Jace_ _sleeping in your apartment'_. "Just exploring the city."

"The one you said that you  _know?_ " Alec muses, eyes looking over at Simon sceptically.

"You pay attention?" Simon retorts as a way to deflect the question, and the ones to come. Alec rolls his eyes and turns to walk out the door, and he leaves but Magnus hadn't.

"You're the Seelie Queen's new vampire friend, aren't you?" Magnus questions, and Simon looks away – knowing it's a sign of his guilt.

"I had no choice, it was either do as she said, or Maia would forever be lost in the Wander Woods. I couldn't do that to her. The Queen knew it would get me there, it worked. She wanted me, and she did anything to get me. I know, I fell for her plan, but what was I supposed to do? Let Maia and Luke, he went after her in the woods, stay there getting lost?" Simon confesses, putting his head into his hands. "I can't get out of it. Every night, I have to go to her, do as she bids and if she's satisfied, I go home until the next night."

"Are you sure there is no way out of it?" Magnus asks, a look of concern glossing over his features.

Simon shakes his head, "I either give up my Daylighter secret so she can help other vampires who have aligned with her the power to walk during the day. But, I can't do that, not when it would cost lives. Or I cut all ties with Shadowhunters. That, Clary's been my best friend since we were kids, I can't cut her out of my life."

"I'll have a-,"

"No. Magnus, this is my mess. Everything that happened is because I wouldn't side with her. Clary kissing Jace, Maia being taken by the Seelies, breaking up with Maia  _because_  I can't tell her where I go. She wants me to side with her, but I can't. Not fully, but I will do what it takes to keep those I care about safe. I just... have to keep lying to all my friends until time passes and then, I really am all hers."

"I'm always here for you, remember that Simon," Magnus offers with a smile, and Simon gives a small nod of his head before telling the warlock to go after his boyfriend who left a few moments ago. That he'll make sure that Jace makes a trip to the Institute to let Alec know he's alright.

It's been a long while since he's actually cooked anything, comes with an all blood diet but he's in the kitchen making some pancakes for Jace. He is sure that Jace would be waking up any moment, and it seems that Simon's instincts were right, because just as he finished putting the pancakes on the plate, he heard a noise from the living room.

Simon speeds into the living room, putting the plate onto the table just as Jace sat up on the couch. The Shadowhunter seems to have noticed Simon's presence. "You're home for once." Was all Jace said as he folded up the blanket that had been draped across him, like it was what he usually did.

"Well it is almost ten o'clock. I made you pancakes. I don't want you going out on a mission later, and passing out because you haven't eaten. I also promised Magnus that I'd make sure you go see Alec." Simon rambled on a bit, pointing towards the plate on the table, flashing Jace a smile.

Jace's eyes go wide a little, "Ten? It's ten!" He exclaims as he drops his boots that he was putting on.

"Yes. Uh... Magnus spelled you or gave you something so you'd fall asleep for like eight hours straight. So, yeah, eat. You obviously would need something, having not eaten in that time," Simon replies with a small shrug, avoiding letting slip the part where it was  _where_  he felt the safest.

"Right... thank you Simon," Jace says and reaches for the plate, eating the food as Simon goes to put away the blanket.

Just as Jace finished his food, Simon took a seat on the chair, "You can crash on my bed instead of the couch. Not like I use it."

"It's your bed Simon, and it's not like I-,"

"Don't lie to me. Bat said you've been doing this for almost two weeks," Simon interjects.

"I was going to say, it's not like I can't sleep on a couch. A couch is fine, really. Are you going to walk me to the Institute or am I allowed to do that by myself?" Jace muses with a raised eyebrow, pulling on his boots and doing them up.

"Oh... yeah. Go ahead, just uh... can I ask one question?"

"About?" Jace replies.

"Why do you keep coming here?" There was a curiousness in Simon's eyes as he looked over at Jace who stood up, walking over to the door.

"I wanted to talk," Jace opens the door, and then he left, leaving Simon wondering why the hell Jace would want to talk to him. What would they have to talk about? The only thing they really had in common was, well Clary and a few other friends in-between.

***

It's been a few days and he hasn't seen Jace, so he hasn't been able to ask  _what_  Jace wanted to talk about. The Queen has informed him that he wasn't needed today because she has business with a Warlock to attend to, leaving him free for the first time in what seems like a month. He was talking with Clary, she claims that they haven't talk in a long while – and he can't blame her, because it's true. It has practically been that long. He's sitting on her bed when Jace walked in.

"Uh... hey Jace," Clary flashes a weak smile at the blond Shadowhunter. "Is there a mission?"

"No, there isn't. I just wanted ask you about your  _ability_ _,"_ Jace says, and Simon over looks him. It kind of looks like some of his runes were fading. Could they fade? Simon was a hundred percent sure that there was a rune that ran across Jace's neck.

Clary's eyebrows frowned together, "What about it?"

"Well I can't use mine anymore. Or any rune... must just be me then. I would go to Magnus but he's with the Seelie Queen," Jace replies, then turns his attention to Simon who was still looking at him. "Simon... can we talk?"

Simon looks at Clary, who just gives a small shrug of her shoulder so he just nods his head a little, "Sure." Simon stands up and follows Jace to a room, which Simon identifies as Jace's. Jace closes the door before telling Simon to sit, so he did.

"Dying... how did you deal with not actually dying?" Jace asks, and Simon can hear the nervousness in his voice, something he never would associate with Jace, the fearless Shadowhunter.

"Uh... well I drink blood to survive, not really how I imagined my life to be. I never thought that I would die at eighteen and be drinking blood. So, I don't know. I know that you never really should bring back anything from the dead, it's never something good. I mean... look at me, I'm a fucking monster, by definition."

"You're not a monster. You're just a vampire, with a kind, loyal heart. That heart of yours is what keeps you from siding with the Queen, but also why you still go to her every night," Jace tell him, and Simon can't bring it in himself to see that Jace is lying to him.

"How do you know that? I barely even told Magnus that," Simon asks instead of denying it.

"A... bug told me," Jace replies giving a small shrug and then a little bug crawls onto Jace's hand before holding it up to his ear. "The Queen would like to see you, get there as quick as you can."

Simon thinks that was a little weird, but he pushes it aside and leaves the Institute to go to the Seelie Realm.

Apparently, Magnus had set off to try and free Simon of his contract with the Queen, which only served to worsen his deal. He doesn't tell Magnus this, that now he's only allowed out of the Seelie realm to attend the mundane classes he's been signed up for.

It's been almost a week now, and he's playing a tune for the Queen when someone walks into the court. Simon pauses his playing when they come in. The Queen is looking on with curiosity, her young age moulding into an older age as she stood tall and her guards have their weapons at the ready. At the opening of the court, was Jace, scarf covering his neck which was weird because it was getting  _warmer_ _,_  even here in the Seelie Realm so why was he wearing that.

"Now why has a Shadowhunter walked into my realm without an invitation?" The Queen asks, waving her hand and the guards put their swords down, but still have a strong grip upon it.

"I need answers, I'm hoping you can give them," Jace states, and pulls his scarf off and instead of runes or blank space, there was a green like vine pattern spreading around. "I can't make  _runes_  anymore; my runes are gone. I can't  _lie_ , it's like I'm a Seelie!"

"A Shadowhunter cannot become a Seelie, no case of it has ever occurred before, but then again... you are a special case like my dear Daylighter," The Queen muses, taking a step closer to Jace until she was standing in front of him. She may have been smaller, but she sure as hell looked like she could take him. "I believe... a demon entered your body when you died, but that extra angel blood that your father put in you, it seems to have reacted to the demon. You're one of us now."

"That is impossible. Can I leave now?" Jace asks, giving a light bow to the Queen.

"You may leave," The queen spoke with a dismissive hand and Jace left, then the Queen turned to Simon with a wicked grin upon her lips. "It looks like that  _shadowhunter_  maybe one of us now. Would you be a dear and watch over him. I don't want to lose any other Seelie, even if it may be by his own hands."

"I can go?" Simon questions, standing up and grabbing a tight hold of his guitar as he did. Ready to leave at the next mention, at the confirmation that he can leave.

The Queen gave a small nod of her head, "You may on the condition that you over look Jace Herondale."

Simon gives a small nod of his head, before heading out of the Seelie Realm, immediately pulling his phone out of his pocket. He's running to his apartment, making it in record time just as he's able to bring up Jace's details but his finger hovers above the call button as he smells tears within his apartment. It's a salty smell, his legs move him closer to the smell. It was coming from his room and he wonders if Clary was in there, and if so who upset her. Yet, the sight he did see shocked him, it wasn't his best friend it was Jace.

Carefully, Simon walks over to Jace, who was curled up in a ball on top of his covers. "Jace?" His voice tentative as he goes to place soft hand upon the blond's shoulder.

"Simon? The Queen let you go?" Jace asks, rubbing the back of his hands against his eyes, to wipe at the tears that fell from his eyes before he's turning to look at Simon. Simon wants to point out that there is no point in hiding that he was crying, when it was clear and that he could smell it; but he is just going to let it go.

Now that he's closer, he can see the vine like pattern poking its way out of Jace's top. "On one condition, I over see you. Are you okay?"

"No... fuck! I can't even say that I'm fucking fine. How do Seelie's do this, evade the truth?" Jace groans out, pushing himself into a sitting position and Simon takes a seat on the bed.

"Practice. You've done it before, you just now have to re-learn is all. I suppose the  _need_  to tell the truth wasn't easy for the Seelie's but they've all learnt how to skirt it. You can practice with me, or just  _not_  answer a question," Simon replies with a small shrug, pulling his feet up under himself. "You want to try again. Answer me this... does Alec know about this?"

"Yes and No," Jace grimaces. "Our parabatai rune faded, he  _has_  to know but how it came about, no. I haven't exactly been in the Institute lately."

"Right... been out with some random chicks, right? Too tired to make it back to the Institute so crash here," Simon says before he's able to stop them from coming. He regrets it from the quick flash of hurt that passed by on Jace's face.

"No. I am doing missions or patrol then crashing here. And not because I'm too tired, I've been wanting to talk to you. But, you were never here but I just felt calmer here, plus you'd eventually show. Though, you never did, I know why now. It's just this place makes me feel safer," Jace answers, uncharacteristic looking at the bed like it was the most interesting thing in the world to him.

"Well here there is two downworlders, and not full of shadowhunters. Maybe it was something your subconscious was telling you. I mean, you don't know why, and you didn't know that you were becoming a seelie, but maybe it was like that flight or freeze stuff. But like your mind letting you know where is safe."

"You do realise that  _all_  of us, the vampires and werewolves are rivals, and seelies and vampires are too. But, I trust  _you_  Simon," Jace replies, still not looking at Simon.

"Oh... That is  _new_  information seeing as I though you hated me and all," Simon answers back, going to pick at the hem of his jeans. "Uh... if you want to sleep, go ahead. I have pyjamas if you want some."

"I despite sleeping fully clothed on the couch, actually sleep in boxers," Jace replies with a small shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh, cool. You do that then. I'll just go see if we have anything that -,"

"Simon... When was the last time  _you_  slept?" Jace asks, looking at Simon with a curious look in his eyes.

Simon just shrugged his shoulders, "I'm a vampire. I don't need sleep, thought you knew this."

"Yes, that is true but you  _look_  exhausted. Sleep, this bed is big enough for the both of us," Jace says as he climbs off the bed, taking his shoes off and undoing his belt.

Thank God Simon doesn't blush anymore, because he's sure he'd be doing just that. Simon gives a small nod of his head, and walks over to his drawers where he pulls out a set of pyjama bottoms. He quickly changes into the pants, leaving his shirt off. He never really did like sleeping with a shirt on.

Once he's done, Jace is already lying in his bed with the duvet coving him, and Simon thinks it's to cover the vines that were growing on him. Simon can't help but give Jace a small smile, and he wonders why his mind is saying he wouldn't mind if this became a regular thing. He climbs into his bed, careful not to brush against Jace. He doesn't want to over step any boundaries. Jace seems to reach a hand out to run through Simon's hair as they face each other.

"I can see why the Queen likes you," Jace says in an unusually soft voice, and Simon swears that he and Jace are closer now. There is something linger in Jace's eyes as he looks Simon over. Then the next moment. Simon felt a soft press of lips against his own. It wasn't _much_ , just a sweet, short and simple kiss pressed to lips, like it was a part of a nightly routine. "Sleep Simon."

His mind doesn't really process the kiss, just that it  _happened_  and then his mind is shutting down as his body falls asleep against the soft mattress he really hasn't had time to actually  _use_  since he got it. Jace had been right, and he woke up to hours later to knocking at the door. Groaning, he buries his head into the soft spot between Jace's shoulder and neck. Since when did they get that close? Sighing, he pushes himself up, careful of Jace who was still sleeping next to him. Simon tries to take note of the vine marks that he could see but was interrupted by the sharp banging again. Rolling his eyes, Simon pulled the blanket over Jace and was tempted to press a kiss to Jace's head, but he doesn't and heads to the door.

Opening up the door, he see's Clary standing with Alec and Isabelle behind her. Alec with his arms crossed against his chest, a glare dead set on Simon, causing him to shift on his feet. Clary was quick to pull him into a tight hug, which he returns, he has honestly missed seeing his best friend.

"Have you seen Jace?" Clary asks as she pulls away, a worry in her voice.

"Why?" Simon is quick to answer back with a question of his own.

"It's important. Alec's parabatai rune is missing but he never felt Jace die. It's impossible, even turning causes effect on the other," Isabelle informs, a serious look in her eyes.

"I have seen him, he's okay. Alive," Simon answers.

"Where is he?" Alec asks, raising an eyebrow slightly.

That is when he hears the light footsteps of someone walking around in his room, "Uh excuse me," Simon says before dashing off into his room to see Jace pulling on one of Simon's hoodies. The hood covering vines around his neck perfectly. Simon can't help but taken in the look of Jace in nothing but one of his hoodies and boxers. It  _really_  was a sight, but what brought him back out of it was when he saw Jace's ears.

"Jace..." Simon's voice soft as he wants to gain the blond's attention.

Jace looks at him, tilting is head a little, "What?"

"Your ears they're pointed, that you can't hide. Alec, Izzy and Clary are here. I think they would like to see you, because they're worried. I-,"

"What's going on Simon?" Clary's voice called out, and Simon can hear that she is closer. 

It wasn't long before the three shadowhunters were now standing in his door way, eyes staring at Jace.

"Jace... What's going on?" Alec asks, looking over at his parabatai. Jace's eyes look over to Simon, who gives a small shrug of his shoulders. "You haven't stepped foot in the institute in almost a week. Our parabatai rune is gone, but  _you're still alive_. Jace... what's going on? You know you can talk to me."

"I know that Alec. I just didn't know what was going on, I didn't want to worry you or anyone else. Would you believe me becoming a seelie is what made the rune disappear? It made  _all_  of mine disappear?" Jace questions, before rolling up his sleeves which were blank, free of any runes. "I have no runes, I've tried to put them on, but they stopped working. Not even  _activating_  them without a stele. I'm a  _See_ _lie_."

"That's impossible," Isabelle says.

"I know, but I can't lie. You can test my blood if you want," Jace replies, holding out his arm towards his sister. "The Queen thinks that when I died, a demon entered my body. And I know... I just didn't want to deal with your questions, so I lied when asked. She thinks the angel blood and the demon reacted. It was a slow process."

"Your  _ears,"_ Clary exclaimed, moving to walk over to Jace, who just took a step back.

"Simon pointed that out before. Just, can you guys let me deal with this? I need to deal with this before I step back into the Institute," Jace says, and Simon can see everyone's eyes widening a little, because that really wasn't the Jace they were use too. But they nod their heads, "You guys can still text me. I might just stay here."

"I'll come back with a blood tester. Just so we're sure," Isabelle says, grabbing hold of her brother's hand and squeezing it a little. "Remember, we're here to talk."

Jace gives a small nod of his head, and Simon watches as the Shadowhunters leave. "Do you want something to eat? I can make you something. I don't know what Bat has in the cupboards."

"I could do with something to eat," Jace replies, moving himself towards the kitchen and Simon follows suit. He watches as Jace pulls a few things out of the cupboard, and mixes them together into what he supposes will be breakfast for the Sha- the Seelie. Simon moves to grab himself a cup of blood, thankful that it was still in there.

There was a small table in the kitchen, which Simon sat at and Jace did the same with a plate of food. It's quiet as Jace eats, and Simon drinks his blood. Simon rinses his cup.

"Why can I smell Seelie?" Maia's voice carried through to Simon's ears, and it's not long until Maia is in the kitchen leaning against the door frame with her arms against her chest. "Hi Simon, Jace. Why is there a Seelie smell in this apartment?"

Jace doesn't look at Maia, in fact, he brings the hood up to cover his head and finds an interest in his food, pushing it around with his fork. This doesn't go unnoticed by Maia, who walks closer and pulls the hood down.

"Oh... You're a Seelie?" Maia's voice filled with  _curiosity_  as she let the question fall past her lips.

The blond doesn't answer the question, just continues to push around the food on his plate. Maia raises an eyebrow at Simon, silently asking him if this was really happening. Simon hopes that she doesn't provoke him further.

Maia seems to get the hint, and takes the seat Simon had occupied before and reached a hand out to rest over Jace's hand that was pushing his food across the plate. "You've got to come to terms with this, in your own way. How long it will take, will vary, especially with how you were brought up. You might want to talk to an older downworlder, maybe even Luke. In your own time. I just... want to ask you a question, don't answer if you don't want too, because I know you can't lie, now. I just want to know, were you really over Clary."

"Yes. I proved it right? Or am I not that good in bed?" Jace replies, lifting his head to look at Maia, a slightly mischievous smile upon his lips. "But... it can't be that I'm bad in bed. Ka-"

"Okay, having  _sex_  with someone else doesn't mean you're over someone," Maia interjects, setting a hard look at Jace.

"So if I would ask you if you were over Simon, you could easily lie but he's right there. Surprised he hasn't dropped the cup or asked us about it," Jace comments, looking over at Simon who was putting the cup slowly down on the bench.

"Speaking of  _Simon_ , why are you wearing his hoodie?" Maia muses.

"I didn't want Alec or Izzy seeing the vines, or that I have no runes. They now know about the runes... just not the vines. I was sleeping in Simon's room and it was just a quick grab. Plus, it smells like him," Jace says, then his eyes are widening as he catches himself saying what he had.

There is a light smirk that plasters across Maia's lips as he looks over at Simon who is looking at Jace with a look of confusion but Simon shakes it off. Simon's mind telling him it's because he had said earlier that being here made him feel safe, that because he lives here, it might just act as another barrier.

"Right, Bat said he needed something from his room and I'm here to get it. Uh... have fun you two," She says with a wink, causing Simon to groan.

Though, some part of him was happy because it meant that his relationship with Maia was on the mend. Simon leaves the kitchen to change into new clothes for the day.

The day was spent just showing Jace some of his favourite movies, and Isabelle did come over for a blood sample, and she was quick with getting the results done because now Simon is sitting in Magnus' loft with Jace, Alec and Luke. Isabelle was reading over the results with Magnus.

"How do we know this isn't just some ploy the Queen has to lure us to her side? Taking out one of the best Shadowhunters, especially now since we  _won_?" Luke asks, walking over to the two at the table where Isabelle has the tablet with the results up.

"Because I saw the Queen's face, she was  _shocked_  at how Jace was a Seelie. It was  _impossible_  by her knowledge," Simon pipes in, standing up from his spot on the couch.

Simon felt all eyes on him, "Why were you, of all people in the Seelie court?" Alec asked.

"Because I had to be there. I can't say why, also a part of her conditions," Simon replies, taking a step back and Jace seems to grab hold of his hand for a brief moment.

"You made a deal with the Queen Simon?" Luke asked, worry in his voice. 

Simon gives a small nod of his head, "I couldn't let Maia stay down there. It's not fair to her, not when the Queen wants me."

"Before a fight ensues, I've gone over the results a hundred times, and I took this directly from Jace today, and handled it  _all_  myself. No other person came into contact with it... he  _is_  a Seelie, that is what his blood says," Isabelle says, handing the tablet over to Jace, who took it into his hands.

It went silent for a few moments, and a question formed into Simon's head and before he can process the question, it's out of his mouth, "If you could do that, why didn't you do that to see if Valentine was lying? Would have saved a lot of trouble for Jace and Clary."

Eyes were once again on him, Simon shifted his feet a little as he looks to the ground. Also, because now that question is out, he realises that it would possibly have meant that he  _never_  would have gotten a chance at dating Clary because she would have been with Jace. It also hurts, because that would have meant that Jace – he stops that train of thought.

"I don't know Simon, but it would have solved a few things out," Isabelle replies, moving over to give his shoulder a small squeeze. "I'm going to go talk with Clary, stop her from going to the Seelie court to have her piece of mind with the Queen."

"Why is she upset? She doesn't know about my deal with her, does she?" Simon asks, suddenly worried that Clary has found out.

Isabelle shakes her head, "No. She's just upset that she'll be taking Jace away from her. She thought that maybe they could have gotten back together."

"That wasn't going to happen. Shadowhunter or Seelie, I'll still be her friend though," Jace says, truthful, and everyone in the room knows it. "The brother sister thing pushed me, and then with all the things Valentine did. I know she's not him, I do... but she also killed him and in some fucked up way, I still loved him. He  _did_  raise me for the first ten years of my life. I... I want out of here." Jace says before running out of the door, everyone looking at the door that he had just exited out of.

"I'm going to go find Clary, I promise I won't tell her about your deal with the Queen, but  _you_  have too," Isabelle says before she too is off.

Simon decides that he wants to go back to his apartment, because that is likely where he is going to find Jace. The vampire smiles to himself when he sees Jace sitting on his bed, with his laptop out. Jace seems to have already disregarded the jeans he was wearing, but was still bundled up in Simon's hoodie.

Slipping off his shoes, he goes to take a seat next to Jace, who upon Simon sitting next to him rest his head on Simon's shoulder. Jace reaches over to pause the show he was watching.

"Is it bad that I still kind of loved my father? Even after all he put me through? What he put everyone through?" Jace asks, his voice very quiet and thank god for Simon's vampire hearing that he caught it.

The vampire wraps an arm around Jace, "No. It's perfectly normal. He raised you, like you said. You didn't know then, and you can't just change that. You can hurt, grieve him but you can also hate him. You don't have to choose one. And picking one or the other isn't wrong either."

It went silent between the pair for a few moments, before Jace whispered, "Thank you Simon."

Later that night, Maia and Bat came around, bringing home some food for Jace as well. Simon just drinking a cup or two of blood, as the others ate. Jace then heads off to Simon's room, Simon saying he'll walk with Maia and that he'd drop by the Institute to grab a few of Jace's own clothing.

They were just outside of Maia's apartment when they paused, "You know... there might be another reason as to why he came to you. He seems to be close with you, and I've never seen that with him in the short span in which I've known him. He needs to adjust, all of us did."

"He died, then came back as a downworlder. I know what that's like, both were choices made by Clary. I've been in his boat, that's probably the only reason. Because if I'm not wrong, you're implying that Jace isn't  _straight_ ," Simon says, giving a small shrug.

Yeah, Simon would admit that Jace is attractive, and that was why he knew immediately that he stood no chance with Clary. Not against him, and well he has just assumed that Jace was straight, not that he's asked the guy if he's into guys.

"He's  _not_. Besides Kaelie, there was this other Seelie he hooked up with and one vampire  _male_ ," Maia replies. Hitching an eyebrow slightly.

"Oh... Oh... Okay, right," Simon stumbles out.

Maia laughs a short, soft laugh. "Give him time, and if  _something_  happens I'll be happy for you."

"He'll go back to remembering he hates me. I'll see you tomorrow," Simon says, and Maia goes up to her apartment and he goes to the Institute.

When he gets there, he realises one thing – he doesn't know what room was Jace's, he's only been in it once. He could search all the rooms, but he isn't sure that the Shadowhunters around would like that. He is, after all a vampire, a downworlder. He's managed to find the bedroom section of the place, he remembers it from before he turned.

The room he  _does_  know is Clary's, so that is where he goes, hoping to find her there, and he's in luck. Clary is in her room, sketching in an open notebook. The way she moved her pencil against the paper worried him. He knocks on the doorframe, and gives a smile to her when she looks up at him.

She invites him in with a wave of her hand, "What are you up to? You stopped your exploring?"

"I guess. It's pretty much the same as it is during the day, just  _night_ ," Simon says with a light shrug of his shoulder. "How are you feeling? You're strokes of your pencil look sad."

"I don't know how I'm feeling. I thought me and Jace could have, I don't know... push past that sibling scare thing that my father gave us."

"Well, technically, Valentine is  _also_  Jace's father. Just not by blood, Jace was raised by the man," Simon comments, giving a small one shouldered shrug.

"I just... Maybe I should talk to him about it, Izzy only did say that Jace didn't want the same as I do," Clary says, her eyes looking down at her page. "Did you come here to talk with me, or something else?"

"I'm looking for Jace's room, truthfully, so I can take some of his clothes to him," Simon replies, going to take a seat next to his best friend. His eyes looking down at the image on the piece of paper. It was a portrait of Jace, and he can see the runes on the drawing. "He's not a Shadowhunter anymore."

He hadn't meant for the words to leave his lips, but they had before he could catch them.

"I know... and it's my fault. Everyone I brought back, became a downworlder... what does that say about me? Everyone I care about is destined to die or become something my apparent world likes to cast to the side? Am I cursed or some shit?" Clary asks, fear and worry evident in her eyes as she looks at him.

"Or some shit," He decides to answer, "You have no control over what happens to us overall. Just what choices  _you_  make. Just give him space, I needed it and he will. It's not easy, especially for an ex Shadowhunter. Could you show me to Jace's room, otherwise he'll steal all my clothes."

He doesn't say that he wouldn't mind looking at Jace wearing his clothes, that having seen Jace wear some of Simon's clothing, that he wouldn't mind seeing it again, and again. Clary gives a small nod of her head, before climbing off the bed, and he follows her.

Simon grabs a few leather jackets, shirts, pants and underwear. He manages to do this without getting the attention of other Shadowhunters. He hopes that Jace is okay with what he grabbed. When he gets back, he finds Jace asleep on his bed, with his laptop asking if he would like to continue watching. A little smile twitched at the corner of his lips, as he grabbed hold of the laptop and exited out of the site.

He folds down his laptop lid, putting it on top of his drawers. Opening up one, he takes out all of his things before he's placing Jace's things in the drawer, and putting his things into another. He hangs the leather jackets, the one he brought from the institute and the one Jace had worn the other day over the back of the chair that sat in the corner of his room.

It was late, but Simon decided he should at least wash Jace's clothes, because  _that_  was another reason he went and got more of Jace's own clothes, because the other male did only wear one set. As most people tend to do. So, in the wash go Jace's clothes.

All the dishes were done, and Bat and Jace were asleep. Maybe he could work on writing a new song, so he goes to grab his guitar and notebook out of his room, when he sees Jace shift on the bed, Simon stills and waits a few seconds, thinking Jace is still asleep he wraps his hand around the neck of his guitar when there was a small murmur, and if it weren't for his vampire hearing he would have brushed it off.

"Come to bed Simon," It was Jace's voice, no denying it.

"I don't need to sleep," Simon answers, already kicking off his shoes.

"Bed Simon, you have a class tomorrow," Jace replies, like it was a normal answer. It was  _true_  he did, but the way Jace said it made him feel so **mundane**.

He knows it's stupid, but it did because that is exactly how he'd imagine something like that twould go. He was in college, or even working and his partner would tell him to come to bed because staying up all night wouldn't help him in the day. It was so simply mundane, that he caved at getting something of that life that was no longer his to grab. So, he sheds himself of his pants and shirt before climbing into the bed.

"Good," Simon heard the blond mutter before he seemed to have fallen back to sleep.

A few minutes later, Simon finds himself drifting off into sleep, just as he felt Jace move closer to him. It was a little nice habit they gathered over the next few weeks.

Jace stays in the apartment watching TV when Simon goes to classes, though apparently he'd been talking with Luke some days, and Simon understands why. Luke would understand Jace's situation of going from Shadowhunter to Downworlder, and he and Jace have talked a little bit about their situations and how they're going, and if Simon is honest, he's still dealing with it every now and then.

Recently, Jace has been okay with going back to the Institute, talking with his Shadowhunter friends. The first time, Maryse was there. Jace had went to talk to her by himself, and it was almost half an hour before they came back. He's been back two other times, the other times they went over to Magnus' or they came over to the apartment.

Jace has started to gain his personality back, and Simon is just waiting for it to turn to back when Jace hated him, or couldn't stand him. But, then another week goes by, and Jace is still sleeping in his apartment, still next to him.

It was nightfall, and Jace was lying next to him as they watched a show, Simon pauses the show as curiosity got the better of him, and he didn't want to ruin the show for Jace. Jace turns to look at him, a questioning look within his eyes.

"I'm just waiting for when you think I'm annoying again because you're going back to how you were before. You hated me before," Simon says, honesty in his voice, because he truly is just waiting for that shoe to drop.

"I never hated you. I just thought you'd keep getting in the way, you weren't trained, much like Clary. I didn't want to have to look after two untrained people. It would have been better for you _living_  wise if you had stayed away," Jace says, and Simon knows it's true, with the whole not being able to lie. "That was annoying, not  _you_  or Clary. And then with Valentine, it was worse for two untrained people."

"But I'm training now, same with Clary," Simon replies.

"Because you guys were forced too. It's good you two are training. Isabelle is a good trainer for her," Jace tell him.

Simon nods his head, "You helped her too, and you're helping me now. How big are the vines on you?" It may have been weeks, but Jace has managed to never show off the vines that now litter his body instead of runes.

Jace moves away slightly, before pulling off the hoodie he was wearing, which he's been doing a lot lately and Simon can see that it's darker around his chest, almost like a scar and then it moves out from there in branches, all the way up to his neck, even spreading across to his left arm and over his stomach.

Simon reached a tentative finger out to trace the vines, only pausing when Jace flinched but then he nodded in a way to give Simon permission to continue the touch. So he does with the soft, gentle touches as he traces the vine patterns. He traces them for who knows how long, but he can hear Jace's heart calming down from its spikes beats when Simon had asked, and he shed his shirt. It's clear that these  _marks_  are the only ones that he feels insecure about, and Simon is going to soak up that he is the one Jace is choosing to trust with seeing them, to  _touch_  them.

He isn't sure why he did it, but he leant over to press a soft kiss to Jace's chest. First right where the darker part was, Jace's breath seemed to hitch at the contact. This caused Simon to move so that he could press more kisses to Jace's chest. Eyes lift to look up at Jace who was carefully watching him, Simon then moved up to press his lips against Jace's.

When his lips press against the blond's, he feels Jace's move against his own in a slow kiss. Lips moving against each other in shy yet wanting movements. During the kissing, Simon finds himself laying on top of Jace as he's lying on his back, and Jace's hand moving to hold the back of Simon's neck.

Simon pulls away, smiling a big wide grin at Jace before he's pressing a kiss to Jace's neck, going down the side were the vines were placed. Lips pressing soft kisses along the messy lines as he moves down. Kisses getting pressed down Jace's chest, following the pattern downwards, stopping just above Jace's boxer, where the vines end.

"They're pretty," Simon murmurs before he's moving back up to kiss Jace. "You're pretty. Very pretty," The words a whisper in between kisses.

Their bodies end up moving together, exploring each other until they were lying next to each other, curled up together. Simon pressing a soft kiss to Jace's chest as he nuzzles into his side. They fell asleep to be woken up by someone exclaiming "Holy Shit."

Simon stirs, groaning and burying his face more into the crook of Jace's neck. "Go away," Simon mumbles, words muffled a little. A small laugh fell from Jace, and Simon smiled a little. It was a nice sound to his ears.

"What do you want?" Jace's sleep awoken voice asks, and Simon can feel the vibrations as the blond talked.

"I was going to ask if you were willing to come back to the Institute Jace," Clary's voice spoke, "Robert and the Inquisitor are here. Your grandmother, is because it has spread around that a Shadowhunter has turned into a Seelie. She's asking for you, asking where you are. We told her that you've been helping out some downworlders, and I can see that you've helped one out."

Simon groans at the suggestive tone Clary used at the end of the sentence. "Clary," He whines out, peeking an eye open to look up at the redhead who was standing next to the bed. "I'd expect that from... no I'd expect that from you too."

"It's what best friends are for, Jace, we won't force you to go but I think she knows we were lying," Clary says, "I'm going to go. They're here for the next few days, to find this Shadowhunter Seelie."

"Okay, I'll try to get there by this evening," Jace says, "Gives me time to process that I'm telling her."

"Understandable," Clary answers, "So I'll see you then."

Then Clary left, leaving the boys to fall asleep until there was a knock upon the door, groaning, Simon pushed himself out of bed, pulling on some pants before heading to open the door. When he did, there was some guy he's never seen before standing in front of the door. He seemed to have a bag at his feet.

"Uh... How may I help you?" Simon asks, his voice still full of sleep that he had just woken up from.

"I wa-,"

"Whose pack are you apart of?" Jace's voice questions as he walks up behind Simon. "You're a werewolf, right?"

"Yes, I am. The name is Jordan, I-," Simon had closed the door on the werewolf, turning to walk to the kitchen. He can hear Jace following behind him.

"That was  _so_  not like you, why did you do that?" Jace asks, moving to the kitchen.

"He hurt Maia, I can make the connection. Werewolf, name is Jordan. And before you say it could be a coincidence, have you seen our lives? It's him, and I'm not going to do that to Maia, she deserves better than that," Simon answers, watching as Jace moves to cup Simon's chin. "He'd have to go to her, not through her friends."

"You're such a great friend," Jace tells him, pressing a soft kiss Simon's lips. "You don't deserve half the shit that has come your way the past few months."

"Neither have you, no one deserves the bad things that happen to them," Simon replies. "Let's get something to eat."

Jace nodded his head, "Yeah, then let's go the Institute. I need to face the possible rejection."

Simon gives a small nod of his head, and they cooked something up for Jace to eat while Simon drank a mug of blood. They showered before they headed out to the Institute. Half way during the trip, their hands slipped into each other's, fingers intertwining as they walked.

Walking into the Institute, the first person they bump into Jace's grandmother. Simon watches as the older woman's eyes racked over her grandson, eyes racking over the hands that were held together. She hitches an eyebrow, "Follow me."

The pair follow the older Shadowhunter towards the Head office. Once in the room, she looks over at Simon, "The Daylighter doesn't need to be here."

"I want him here," Jace replies, "I have something to tell you."

"Does it have anything to do with the Shadowhunter Seelie?"

Jace nods his head, "It has everything to do with it. We know who it is, it's me."

"What kind of joke is this?" She asks, eyes boring into her grandson, which makes Simon squeeze his hand tightly in reassurance. To show that he was there for Jace.

"I died, when Valentine did. He killed me, and a demon entered my body, then Clary brought me back. I had both angel blood and a demon fighting in my body. It snapped or something, and now I'm a Seelie. It's not a joke," Jace says, eyes looking towards his grandmother.

The Inquisitor shakes her head, "Don't come back until you realise how bad of a joke that is you're playing on me," She says, pointing towards the door.

Jace sucked in a deep breath before walking out of the room, Simon following suit. Simon takes the lead, deciding to make a trip to Hunter's Moon. They take a seat up at the bar, where Maia puts a drink in front of them. Simon watches as Jace downs his within seconds, and he couldn't help the small flinch he did at how fast it was downed. It reminded him of his mother, who used the stuff to down her problems.

He reaches a hand to push some of Jace's hair back, giving the other a small smile. He wishes the smile would have stayed, but when he saw a certain werewolf walk into the bar, he frowned a little. Jace caught on, and moved to see the werewolf. Before Simon could even do anything, Jace was out of his seat and pushing the other outside.

"What's going on? Jace just pushed a potential customer out the door," Maia commented. "Oh shit... They're going to fight."

Then the two are out the door, Jace holding Jordan up against a pole. Jordan seems to be sporting a bloody nose.

"I didn't know Seelie's were violent," Jordan cries out as Jace lands a punch into the gut of the werewolf.

"Well I'm not your typical Seelie, and I don't like people who hurt people I care about," Jace growls out, and Maia is pulling Jace away, and Simon is stepping in between the Jace and Jordan. His hands out as he tries to get Jace to calm down. "He needs to pay!"

"Jace... I never said he ph-,"

"It was the way you reacted! If he just broke her heart you wouldn't slam the door on his face! Abusers need to fucking pay!" Jace screams out as he tries to break free of the grip around him, but Maia tightens her grip on the blond. Simon can see a few tears forming in Jace's eyes.

Simon turns to look at Jordan, he flashes his fangs, "Go."

"No, I want to talk to Maia," Jordan says defiantly.

"Go!" Maia's voice spoke, loud and clear, voice leaking with authority. "I don't want to speak to you. Nothing you say will excuse what you did. I  _never_  did what you did when I turned. You turned me, on purpose. I remember that night as clear as day. Go Jordan, and never come back."

The werewolf snarled before he stormed away, Maia then brings Jace over to the bench sitting outside of the bar. Simon takes a seat next to him, as Maia sat on the other side. They sat in silence, a bartender came out to ask about Maia, and she told them she'd be back in a few minutes.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that," Jace says after a while. Resting his head on Simon's shoulder, Maia gives Jace's shoulder a small squeeze.

"He totally deserved that though. You still need to learn to talk about your feelings, did something happen today?" Maia asks, looking over the two boys.

"My grandmother hates me," Jace replies, giving out a small sigh, "Robert still doesn't know, I'm scared to tell him. Just because everyone else accepted me, doesn't mean he will, my grandmother didn't. I know... It's silly."

"It's not silly Jace. It's normal, you were scared to tell Maryse, but you told her, scared to tell even Alec or Izzy. But it's still your choice to tell," Simon replies, linking his fingers with Jace's. "Do it in your own time. I mean... my mother and sister still don't know I'm a vampire. I know it's not the same, but there are somethings that are harder to tell and some people they're harder to tell. You think it was easy for Alec to do what he did on his wedding. I mean, everyone saw your parents' reactions."

"That is why," Jace says in reply, "Can we go home?"

Simon nods his head, "Sure, we can do that."

Simon shares a look with Maia who gives a small nod of her head, "I'll see you two later. I'll bring by some food, and blood."

"Thank you," Simon replies, and Maia leaves back into the bar. Simon wraps an arm around Jace, and pulling him up and walking them home.

When they get home, he hears a sob break through Jace. So, he's bring the blond into his bedroom, placing him on the bed. He pushes some of Jace's hair back, pressing a soft kiss to Jace's forehead.

"I don't know why I'm...."

"It's okay Jace. I think you're letting your emotions through. That's what happens when you bottle your emotions, you can lash out, and I think that is what is happening. First with Jordan, and now you're breaking down. And Jace... it's okay. You can let it out, and I'll set up something for us to watch after it, and get you something nice to drink."

Jace nodded his head a little, pulling off his shoes before curling up on the bed, while Simon goes and makes Jace a nice soothing cup of tea, finding his laptop he walks back into his room. He could hear the sobs so he is careful as he steps into the room. The cup of tea placed onto the bedside table, and Simon takes a seat at the corner of the bed, lifting his laptop open and finding something that the pair could watch later.

He places it aside, and was about to leave when  Jace spoke up, "Si," His voice a little broken, and there was a hidden sob. "C-Can you lay with me?"

"I can," Simon replies, his shoes disregarded before climbing onto the bed next to Jace. He wraps an arm around Jace, who moves so that his back was flush against Simon's chest. Simon tightens his arm around the blond, pressing a soft gentle kiss to the back of Jace's neck.

Simon doesn't comment on it, just holds onto Jace the way he wants to be held. Jace ends up crying himself to the point where he falls asleep, Simon doesn't have the heart to move, just close his own eyes, and pressing another soft kiss to the back of Jace's neck, pulling him closer.

It's when Maia and Bat enter the apartment when Simon wakes up, that is also the moment in which he realises that he might just be in love with Jace, that over the past month or two, he's found himself falling for the blond. He doesn't think It's a bad thing to realise.


	2. cause they look a lot like mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the bits of jace, and i'm sorry it's not as long as simon's side

Dying and coming back to life, it can do a number on anyone's mind and he seems to be no exception. He wants to believe, like Clary that there were no consequences, but he can't shake the feeling that there will be. As it turns out, he is right. He is plagued with rapid pains in his body, nightmares and doubts. So much he finds himself in the room of a certain vampire a week after dying, only to find him not there, so he just goes into the living room, crashing on the couch.

He needed someone who had a similar experience to him, someone he trusted with the subject and that someone happened to be the Daylighter. He's died before, he's been brought back to life, been brought to life by Clary. So, that is why he went back every night, to see if he could talk with the vampire. He kept going, hoping catch the vampire before he went off to wherever it is that he went.

Yet, he never could catch the vampire. He wanted to talk about the dying before he expressed any worry he was having about his abilities as a Shadowhunter. That maybe it was just in his head that using certain runes wasn't working, that some of them seem to be fading.

When he  _did_  get to talk to Simon, it didn't give him any sense of stability. In fact, it made him freak out, because the next day, he woke up with a set of vines starting to come out of the wound in which Valentine had plunged the knife into him. It worried him, but he didn't say anything to anyone, not wanting to worry them. Alec would fuss, and so would Izzy.  So, he keeps it to himself. Keeps to himself that his runes are fading out, that he even has vines adorning his body like a Seelie. No one asks, and he is thankful, because it seems like he is unable to lie to anyone. He's not sure when he noticed  _that_  but he did.

So, when the day came that he no longer had any runes, that  _none_  of his rune making abilities were working he wrapped himself up in a scarf to cover up the ones that popped out of his collar. He set himself off into the New York city. He knew where he needed to go, who ne needed to  _see_  about this. There is no warning or requesting the Queen's presence, he just storms his way through the Realm and finds the Queen in her court. His eyes dead set on her, even as she changed form and stood tall.

He's angry, he wants to understand why he was acting more like a Seelie then a Shadowhunter, but she couldn't give him an answer, only a theory. So, out he storms. He isn't sure where to go, he knows he can feel the emotions bubbling up inside him, from keeping this all to himself. But, he does end up finding himself in Simon's room, he's not sure how but he did. The words that the Seelie Queen spoke, telling him that he must be one of her kind, telling him that he was now a Downworlder – one you  _couldn't_  turn into.

It's a buildup emotions that are making him break down crying on Simon's bed, curling in on himself. He just cries until he hears Simon's voice, it was nice how Simon hadn't kicked him out of his bed, Simon had all reasons too. Jace knows he hasn’t always been  _nice_  to Simon but it was hard to keep track of two untrained people, so he decided to  _push_  in the hopes that he wouldn't have needed too. But Simon was  _stubborn_ and loyal. Jace knew stubborn, he was stubborn and loyal to a fault.

When they go to sleep, he's exhausted but he does know what he did. He's aware of it, he did it and there was really no taking it back, unless Simon doesn't bring it up, either way he's okay because he isn't sure what was going on, or what he was feeling.

Two days later, and he has listened to Maia's suggestion of going to Luke. Luke was a good choice, as he was once a Shadowhunter who then turned into a downworlder, which is exactly what he went through. But the Alpha werewolf had a mundane job, and Jace didn't want to take Luke away from it and was going to walk away when he saw that the male talking with his partner, Ollie.

But, Ollie had spotted him and pointed him out, Jace just groaned a little but walked up to them.

"Is something wrong?" Luke asks, eyes overlooking Jace.

"No... I was just wanting to talk to you about... you know, going from one thing to another. Thought you'd be best to talk to about it," Jace says, trying to be vague in front of the mundane. Not wanting to accidently startle the mundane with the Shadow World. "But, I can see that you're busy, so maybe later."

Luke opened the back of the cop car, "Hop in the back, and we can talk. Ollie knows about our world."

Jace hitches an eyebrow, but climbs into the car, as Ollie and Luke climbed into the car. The doors close, and Ollie pulls out. "How does a mundane know?"

"I had suspicion, and investigated, and then confront Luke," Ollie says, flashing a smile to Jace through the rearview mirror. "What are you?"

"Oh," Jace replies with a small nod of his head, "Me? I  _was_  a Shadowhunter, but now I'm not sure."

"It's going to take you a while to adjust to this new thing. Becoming a downworlder, with what you were brought up to believe  _especially_  with who taught you. You can always talk to me about him, I know what he was like," Luke says. "He hurt everyone he cared about, or who cared about him. There are only three of us still alive. You, me and Maryse."

"Maryse?" Jace asks, tilting his head a little.

"Her story to tell," Luke says. "We can schedule time to talk about these things."

"I would like that," Jace answers.

"Now, I would like to talk about  _Simon_ _,"_  Luke voices, eyes looking back at him.

Jace hitched an eyebrow slightly, "What about him?"

"He is like a-,"

"Are you seriously giving him a  _shovel_  talk Luke?" Ollie questions.

"Yes, I am. Now, Jace I know you don't mean any harm, but he is-,"

"Luke, don't worry I do not plan on hurting him anytime soon. It's not like we're dating or anything, he just, I needed someone who had been through something similar. He was it," Jace says, giving a small shrug to show that it really didn't mean anything other than that, but in his heart. Well his heart was telling him something else.

Jace tagged along for a bit, before the pair got a call that they needed to go to and Jace said he has something else to do. So, of he finds his way to Simon's apartment.

As promised, he talked with Clary, he told her why he couldn't be with her and lying when she asked if it had anything to do with Simon. Only lying because he really had no idea of what was happening.

"You know, it’s okay. I... I understand. Simon is a great guy, I wronged him with our romantic relationship. He deserves someone who will love him deeply, and I think you might be heading that way," Clary tells him, reaching over to rest upon his. Giving it a small squeeze. "So, you don't like me like you use to, that's okay. I am glad to have heard it from  _you_. I will find someone, just like you will."

"Thank you, for understanding," Jace replies, giving a small smile.

"Anytime. Simon is due back anytime, if you want to impress him I would watch this," Clary says, moving around Simon's bedroom, easily accessing his laptop and pulling up a movie. "And you might get something he said very early on when you two meet."

Jace nods his head, eyes moving to look at the small screen as Clary left the apartment. The door opening next when Simon walks in, to find him watching;  _Captain_ _America; the First Avenger_. Simon laughed a little, before moving to watch the rest of the film with him. Jace could see why Simon had called him that, appearance wise.

The thought of having to tell Maryse, of telling Imogen, Robert? It scared the living  _shit_  out of him. He was scared to face their reactions. It had spread around quickly that a Shadowhunter had turned into a Seelie, Maryse was there on his first day back within the Insitute walls, but still it was an hour before he could face her (and maybe he tells Simon that he goes to her instead). She had noticed something was up the  _moment_  she set eyes upon him, because she was pulling him aside and he confessed.

He was waiting for her to yell, for her to throw him out of the Insitute, for her to do anything but what she did. She had pulled him into a hug, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding onto her. The  _only_  mother figure he's had in his whole life. Tears brimming his eyes as she was accepting of this change within him. They're there for a few minutes, until Maryse pulls away and wipes at the few tears that fell down Jace's cheek.

She was honest with him, telling him how if this had happened a few months back that she wouldn’t have known how she would have reacted. That she is happy that he is okay, and she tells him that as long as he is safe, that no matter what, she  _was_  her son. That he has always been  _hers_. He tells her how he's talked to Luke, how he said that the thing that all three of them have in common is Valentine.

He didn't expect her to tell him what she had, "Valentine was a  _very_  manipulative man. He knew how to pull everyone along, to do his bidding. Knew what buttons to push, what to say to make you want to be  _near_  him."

Maryse takes in a sharp inhale, letting it out slowly and Jace grabs hold of his mother's hand in a sign of comfort. "He played me, made me feel special, I was already a bit of an outcast because of my brother, so that  _bit_  of attention I got from him? It was like the world, and he knew what he was doing. He told me anything I would want to hear, and I was like putty in his hands. I never acted on any feelings I may have contracted at the time, I couldn't do that to Jocelyn, or to Robert. Even after Alec, he still made me feel special by letting me fight by his side.

It wasn't until he died, or so it seems, faked his death and I was free of him that I realized that he was just using me for his game. I think he also knew that something was happening between Lucian and Jocelyn, so to toy with  _her_ , he toyed with me. It was just so  _awful_. He made us outcasts for his crusade that we followed. I'm going to be honest again, and tell you that it was because of this... that I was  _cold_  to you when I thought that you were Valentine's son.

I thought that he was playing with me, by making me love you like a son. By making me care for you, that he was having his last laugh, but I get the last laugh. Because I get an extra son, one who I care for deeply and would die to protect. I know, that it isn't an excuse for what I did, and I'm sorry for that time when you thought that I hated you."

Tears were falling down Maryse's face by the time she finished the confession. Jace can't stay mad at her, they all were dealing with a lot back then, but now he has a bit more of an understanding as to why Maryse had reacted the way she had. Valentine was a cruel person.

\-----

Almost two months after the whole Jordan thing, none of them have seen the werewolf and it seems like he has left them alone. Now, he was sitting at Hunter's Moon with Clary, Izzy, Alec, Lydia, Magnus. Maia was behind the bar, and it seems that Luke and Maryse have joined in on this night and he thinks he saw Bat somewhere. Simon was setting up on stage, he apparently has a new song he wants to premiere. He wanted everyone who could to be there, and Jace was in no way going to deny that. Plus, he kind of loves Simon's voice, singing or talking.

His eyes were just watching Simon when he felt someone elbow him, frowning a little he turns to look and see that it was Clary, "What?"

"What are you two?" Clary asks, her heading tilting towards Simon on stage, and she raises an eyebrow.

Jace gives a small shrug of his shoulders, they've kissed, they've had sex – but they haven't really  _talked_  about what it is that they are. Are they dating? Are they just friends? He doesn't know, but he does know that he doesn't want Simon to leave his life. "Not sure."

Clary gives a small nod of her head, before turning her attention back to Simon who was up at the microphone. Simon seemed to have a bit of a nervous smile upon his lips. Jace watches as brown eyes scan the crowd, smiling wide when his and Simon's eyes connect.

"Hey everyone, I'm back. This first song, is something I've been working on for a while. I dedicate this to everyone, but there is  _someone_  special I hope really gets the message," Simon says, eyes never leaving Jace before he looks down at his instrument and he starts to play. " _We all got nightmares in our dreams, we look for someone to believe in us and show us the way and make it okay. The world can be dangerous. There's something so rare in your veins, not_ _a single thing_ _I would change, and oh, if you only knew how I see you would you come alive again, alive_ _again_ _? I, I need you to understand._

_I don't mind your shadows_ _cause_ _they disappear in the light, I don't mind your shadows cause they look a lot like mine. And listen to me,_ _it's_ _okay to be afraid just walk like you're never alone. I don't mind your shadows, your shadows, baby I don't._

_Pictures in our head of what we're supposed to be, measuring ourselves, but where is the love? Where is the love? The_ _worl_ _d got us_ _wonderin_ _',_ _wonderin_ _'. I, I need you to understand._

_That I don't mind your shadows_ _cause_ _they disappear in the light, and I don't mind your shadows cause they look a lot like mine. And listen to me, it's okay, to be afraid. Just walk like you're never alone and I don't mind your shadows, your shadows, baby I don't._

_And all these voices in our head, well they keep_ _screamin_ _' louder and_ _lou_ _der_ _, but they won't pull us under._

_Baby,_ _I don't mind your shadows_ _cause_ _they disappear in the light, and I don't mind your shadows cause they look a lot like mine. And listen to me, it's okay, to be afraid. Just walk like you're never alone and I don't mind your shadows, your shadows, baby I don't._ _"_

The song ends, and Simon smiles widely as everyone claps, those close to the vampire stand up and clap. He plays a few more songs, before he's joining the group at the bar after stopping by Luke and Maryse's table. Simon's arms wrap around Jace's waist as he hugs the man from behind. Jace won’t lie, he likes it.

"That was a beautiful song, Sharron," Magnus says, a smile wide upon his lips. "Beautiful message."

"Thank you Magnus," Simon replies, and Jace can hear it in his voice that he is smiling. "I'm going to steal Jace away for a bit, that okay with everyone."

Everyone nods their heads, and Simon's arms are removed from his waist before they're walking outside of the bar.

"That was a very beautiful song, I really liked it," Jace tells Simon, and loves how Simon's smile widened.

"Thanks, that means a lot, because I wrote it mainly about you," Simon admits, a shy smile spreading across his lips. 

"Yeah?" He muses and leans in to press a kiss to Simon's lips when he nods his head. "Clary asked before, what we were. Maybe we should talk about that."

"We should. I do like you, a  _lot_  Jace. Like  _a lot_ , maybe we could be dating? Only if that is what you would like," Simon all but rambles out, his hands moving about as he gets the words past his lips.

"I really like you a lot too Simon, a fucking lot," Jace answers, moving his hand to grab hold of Simon's in his. "So... we're dating. How about, we officially go on a date tomorrow night?"

"Sounds like a plan," Simon replies, and then they're heading back inside and letting the others know of what it was that they were.

And, if Jace were to be  _more_  honest with himself, he was lying when he said he really liked Simon, because he  **knows**  it's more than that. That over the few months, he had fallen hook line and sinker for Simon, and he doesn't mind that, not one bit. He is in love with Simon Lewis, and nothing feels like it could go wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> the next part will be missing scenes and from jace's pov, so the missing scenes are ones mentioned or not mentioned but of jace's struggle and him falling for si


End file.
